Stop apologizing already.

It's a fact that women apologize more frequently than men. Many times we do it just to be polite. But is it diminishing our credibility? Our power? Yes.

Do you ever find yourself saying any of these phrases?

• “I'm sorry, but I think...”

• “I'm sorry you have to do this, but...”

• “I'm sorry to bother you with...”

• “I'm sorry, this might not be exactly what you wanted...”

A talented member of our team constantly apologizes, even for situations she has no knowledge about and no control over. Another young woman, who had a different opinion from the rest of our group, began her sentence during a meeting with, “I'm sorry, but I think we could do it this way.” Just like that, she gave her power away. She weakened her point with that little word.

While “I'm sorry” CAN be very meaningful, and it should be set aside for the moments when you want to correct a situation—something you did that hurt someone's feelings or a mistake you made—overusing the word has a diminishing effect. What happens when you really are sorry for something? Will the person on the receiving end know you mean it?

Overusing apologies makes them lose their meaning. Limit the s-word in your vocabulary. Start using strong phrases. If you bump into someone, say, “Excuse me.” Know that it's OK to have a different opinion and express it. Don't apologize for the things you like or don't. And most of all, don't use “sorry” as your linguistic crutch. You can overcome this self-effacing mechanism by being conscious of it.

Be real, be you, and you won't have to be sorry. Have a fabulous weekend!

Kiva.org- Helping entrepreneurs in the developing world “go for it” $25 at a time.

Recently I learned about Kiva.org, an amazing micro-lending Web site for the working poor. Kiva’s mission is to connect people through lending for the sake of alleviating poverty. It’s an opportunity for people like you and me to lend directly to unique entrepreneurs in the developing world. These are real individuals in need of funding. Despite their current circumstances, they’ve decided to “go for it,” because they know they can—and they will. Get involved, and you will be helping a real person make strides towards economic independence.

Amaka Okpara, 23, married with one child, lives in Lagos State, Nigeria, where she makes bags that she designs herself. While she is happy because the demand for her bags increases during this festive time of the year, she needs money to purchase materials. Through Kiva.org, she is requesting a loan of $1,200.00 that she plans to repay in eight months. But Amaka is not alone in her quest. In the Shartuz District of Tajikistan, Dilbar Asadova needs money to purchase additional inventory for her small, rural market where she sells food, clothing and personal products. Before starting her business in 2000, Dilbar was a housewife, but after her husband died she needed a way to support their four children. Her goal is to grow the business so that she is the biggest market in town.

These are just a few of the examples of women who have decided to “go for it” as entrepreneurs. In spite of the fact that they live in poor conditions, lack education and the necessary capital, they have found a way to grow their businesses through Kiva.org.

You, too, can help. I’ve decided to donate 20 percent of my book sales to Kiva.org. When you purchase a copy of Real You Incorporated: 8 Essentials for Women Entrepreneurs from the Real You Incorporated site between now and Jan. 2, 2009, you’ll also be helping women entrepreneurs like Amaka and Dilbar.

Pursue Your Charitable Passion

If you’re not engaged in a charitable pursuit, follow your heart to get there. Pay attention to the needs in your community, and when it feels right, respond.

Pick three areas where your gifts could shine. Then, seek out organizations in your community that serve at least one of your chosen areas. Write them down, and check out their Web sites. Better yet, refer to http://www.volunteermatch.org/ for more ideas.

I’m a huge believer in giving back, and I make sure it’s part of my business and personal life. One of my many loves is the arts, and that’s why I’m a founding donor of the Wexner Center for the Arts. I will be hosting a panel discussion with five other notable women from the Columbus business community, including four from the book, at the Wexner Center at a date TBA. We’ll be discussing how women business owners are in a unique position to be givers to their communities by supporting their charitable passions. The discussion will also include how women can leverage the causes they’re already passionate about as part of their overall brand presence.

The free event, which begins with a reception and concludes with a book signing, will take place in the Performance Space at the Wexner Center for the Arts, located at 1871 N. High Street, Columbus. If you’re in the Columbus area, please join us!

Get inspired! Learn how you, too, can pursue a charitable passion that is right for you!