Learning to Say No

By nature, women are nurturers—the ones always helping others. While it’s admirable that we are always trying to be there for others, between work and family, our lives can get chaotic. In striving to be SuperMom, we often forget how and when to say no. Then, being overcommitted with no time for ourselves, we’re left feeling frazzled, burnt-out, despondent and not much good to anyone.

Fortunately, there are a couple things we can do. First, learn to set limitations for yourself. Instead of saying yes to everything, define the specific tasks that inspire you. Commit your time and talents to the tasks and organizations that make your heart sing. By doing so, your actions will be in sync with your heart, and that translates into a happier you.

Also, develop a support system of family, friends and co-workers who can help you. Surround yourself with these individuals and establish them as a network of real people in your life. Don’t try to do it all. Instead, let others help you.

Learning to say no and having others help you may take some getting used to, but the end result, a refreshed and rejuvenated you, is well worth it.

It's time to de-stress, if ever so briefly!

It's tough out there. Whether you run your own business, work for somebody else or work at home taking care of the kids, things are tight. People are grumpy. Budgets are cut and, well, it's just plain stressful. That got me to thinking of tips I've heard and used to create a little peace and relaxation in the middle of the day.

Always remember, if you're stressed and in a bad mood, you project it through everything you do. Personally, my jaws clench, and I become short with people. And that's no fun, for me or them. I'm not as effective as a leader, a mother or a friend. And while a little stress is good for performance, a lot of stress throws you and your nervous system out of whack, leading to nasty physical consequences as well as leaving you vulnerable to anxiety and depression.

So, it's time for a break! Here are my five favorite tips.

1. Have a personal jam session. Get out the headphones and listen your favorite up-beat song. Nothing gets me moving like Tina Turner.

2. Get out of the office, or the house. Change the scenery! Take a 15-minute walk and get some fresh air. You will be more productive if you give your brain a rest.

3. De-clutter your desk. You will feel better instantly—I promise! The distracting call of “the piles” will be silenced, enabling you to concentrate on your next feat.

4. Connect. Talk to your team. Ask others about their day. If they're smiling, you're going to smile back. It's contagious! If you work alone, or you're home alone, call a best friend. She needs you as much as you need her right now.

5. Laugh. Yes, laughter is my cure all. Here's a great stat from my book: Preschool children laugh up to 400 times a day, but adults only laugh 17 times a day on average. C'mon! Take the edge off and have a little fun.

Enjoy your weekend!

Finding a Balance that Works for You

Women continually struggle with work-life balance. There are many women who believe there is this set, generic and ideal form of balance. However, that is just not the case. Balance differs for everyone. What works for your co-worker may not work for you. And what works for you may not work for your neighbor. Everyone is different and has a different job and your work-life balance should reflect that. Also, many women believe that their personal and business life should be completely different. But instead hear this: Your business is your personal life.

By that I mean if you develop your business around your personal brand essence, then the real you will rise to the surface. You’re a package. Your values, personality—even your passions—they all come together to create a personal brand that defines you. Now take it one step further and incorporate that brand into your business.

There are steps for accomplishing this goal, and I talk about them in great detail in my book, but the basic concept remains the same: Make your personal brand and your business brand one. And don’t forget that it all has to happen within the guidelines of authenticity. Don’t be a fake. Stay genuine and true to your passions and your ideals. Balance is only achieved if and when you stay true to your passions—and you refuse to separate your business brand from your personal brand.

Get your Daily Dose of Laughter

As a mother of four and full-time business woman, I understand the pressures moms face. Unfortunately, many women have accepted that stress has become part of their daily lives and are finding it harder and harder to relax.

Prolonged and increased levels of stress not only affect our home lives, they also affect our health. Our bodies are well adapted to dealing with short-term stress, but prolonged stress can cause serious health problems. Your stress levels can affect your nervous, respiratory, reproductive and immune systems.

To help reduce your stress and make life more enjoyable for everyone in your home, I recommend laughter. We all can benefit from a healthy daily dose. Research shows that laughter reduces the level of stress hormones, stimulates the immune system and helps you connect with others. What a perk!

Best of all, if you have kids, they should keep you laughing on a daily basis. Kids are masters at this, as they haven’t yet been infected with adulthood. My advice is to loosen up, try to lighten your daily load by enlisting the help of your husband, kids and others. No one—not even you—can do it alone.

So to help start you on your way, here is a video clip that always makes me laugh.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5P6UU6m3cqk&hl=en&fs=1]

Maintaining stable employer-employee relations

In a climate where leaders have to make difficult cost-cutting decisions, employer-employee relations can often get a bit rocky. To maintain good a good rapport, it’s important for employers to communicate and get to know their employees. I mean really take the time to interact with them on a daily basis. Go beyond what’s happening at work, and show an interest in their lives. A real, genuine conversation is comforting; share a story or a laugh with your employees. A little interest goes a long way.

Still, it’s best to exercise caution. You don’t need to know the details of their personal lives, and you certainly don’t want to pry. But chances are good that by showing a little interest in what they’re all about, you’ll create an employer-employee relationship that will benefit both sides of the equation.

The pressure of doing it all and starting a business

If you have always dreamed of being an entrepreneur but feel pulled in a dozen different directions, I have a few tips for you.

If you are committed to making your dreams a reality, you must stop and take some time to focus. I mean really clear your plate of all of life’s demands for a short while. Then, focus on your goals. What are they? Where do you want to go? What kind of business plan do you envision? What does your brand look like?

At this point, it’s up to you, so fire up that laptop or get out your pencil and get started. Record your thoughts and commit them to action. While it’s never too late to get started, there is no time like the present. Good luck!

Do you have an entrepreneurial success story? I’d love to hear from you!

Girlfriends and Gabbing and Mother's Day

On this Mother's Day I, of course, am so thankful for my four kids and for my own great mom, and my mother-in-law, and the rest of my family. But I'm also thankful for all the great moms who I'm honored to call my friend. Without these women in my life, I just don't know what I'd do. Girlfriendology celebrates that amazing bond. It's a wonderful site, and the founder, Debba Haupert, embraces her inner daisy as much as I do. (See her website, and the cover of my book.) We just did a podcast talking about the importance of friends, and much much more.

And why do we need girlfriends so desperately, especially in these frightening economic times? As I learned during the recent Marketing to Women conference, we women personalize and internalize stress. And when we worry, we connect. (Men isolate.) And one of our favorite forms of connection? Talking. Women say 20,000 words a day, while men speak 7,000 words. And that's just out loud!! Add in email and well, you've got the picture.

So if you're feeling stressed, gab with a friend. It's the best therapy. Happy Mother's Day to all of you great friends out there.