Real You: Another type of labor day

My youngest son, Dylan, is an actor and he just booked his first professional job out in LA. The reason it's relevant to Labor Day? The show is a Discovery Health series, in its fourth season, called "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant". Really.

Each episode features two real-life stories of women who didn't know they were having a baby until they went into labor. After having four kids myself, I am astonished by their stories, and apparently, so are all of the viewers who tune in! Dylan's character is the stepson of the woman who didn't know she was pregnant. He had an amazing time shooting both on location in Los Angeles and in the studio. The cast and crew of the production are great.

And what did I learn, aside from the fact that there are a lot of women who are pregnant and don't know it? I learned that the set of a reality television series is a mini-community - a family of sorts that guest actors drop into by day. The crew has a culture and a tempo, just like any other office environment. And I also learned, as a first-time set mom, that there are a lot of rules about my role and responsibilities. It's another setting where I'll need to tap into the Real You process and find my way.

I do know, though, when the director - Jeff Daniels shown in the photo with Dylan - wrapped and told Dylan he did a great job, Dylan's smile made the days worthwhile. He's following his passion for acting, and I am behind him every step of the way. Learning a new job, as "momager", isn't easy, but as with every thing you do for your kids, it's a labor of love whether they were expected or not!

Ready, Set, Launch – Gulp

As an entrepreneur, you know the feeling! Whether you're a solopreneur, mompreneur, intrapreneur (an entrepreneur within a company), a multi-million dollar entrepreneur—whatever level—that moment when the project is finished and you launch it to the world is daunting. You *think* you've thought of everything, dotted all your I's as they say, but invariably, something isn't quite perfect.

But it's still great. That gulp feeling, that nervousness, is all because we put too much expectation on ourselves, and our team, to be perfect. Perfect isn't sustainable or real. Perfect is a place where there is no room for improvement, and there always is. Always. So if you're like me, and you've for too long held on to that perfectionist feeling, try to work it through. Realize, as I had to, that each mistake is a chance to learn and that when you're being realistic, you realize nobody—and no product or service launch—will ever be perfect.

Guess who reminded me of the whole problem with perfection? My middle school son. He is one of those guys—straight As, great at sports, a mentor, teachers love him, tons of friends. That guy. One night, tucking him in, I said something to the effect of you're just such a perfect kid. He looked at me, incredulously, and said: “Mom, nobody's perfect. I'm not. That's too much to expect from yourself.” Yes, he said it. Now I call him my “almost-perfect” son, with a smile.

That said, there's nothing wrong with doing your best. I just launched a new Web site for my Real You business—GULP. It's a work in progress, but it's a great start. I say that even while I acknowledge to you right now that I wasn't going to tell you about it today because it's not perfect. It isn't. But, then again, it never will be.

So, with pride, and a nod to imperfection and the entrepreneurial spirit, I hope you'll check out my new site: KairaRouda.com and watch with me as it evolves. Because a Web site, much like the business it represents, always evolves. And once you realize that fact, and the fact that your best is good enough—even if it isn't perfect—you'll be able to share more of the Real You with the world.

The best of you. The real you. And believe me, that is as close to perfect as you need to be.

Of jellyfish, hurt knees, DC, sweet sixteen and the joys of end-of-school

This post will fall into the category of: Oh, my goodness. Is school almost over or what? These last few weeks of the school year feel like a perpetual full-moon, day and night.

The kids are:

#1 excited for summer, spending more time outside and getting hurt (trampoline + my oldest = bruised knee and two weeks physical therapy at least) Oh, and also planning high school graduation, college, yikes;
#2 Anticipating the weekend spent at the lake with good friends, and next week's driver's license test (car + my 16-year-old daughter = lifetime of worry)
#3 Enjoying an 8th grade trip to DC (packing + middle son with no dress clothes that fit = late-night sojourn to Target, much consternation, but eventual on-time departure) and will return just in time for his 8th grade Graduation;
#4 Hibernating. With sinus infection, missing choir concert tonight and opportunity to dance as a jelly fish (me + strange to me environment of fabric store + yards of sparkly fabric + hours of constructing said costume = no performance due to sinuses + an unused, but quite impressive jellyfish costume.)

And me? Taking things one day at a time, trying to remember all the blessing that accompany even the numerous doctor's office visits and trying to make sense of why a McDonald's Baconater helps a sinus headache when you're 12?

Say no to time thieves

Make sure you're focusing and not allowing time thieves to take advantage of you!

Did you know interruptions consume 28 percent of an average workday? It's true. And interruptions can be even more time-stealing if you're working from home and not setting limits. Case in point: the other day I was working from home. That's typically a great place to work, especially during school hours. But, one of my kids was home sick. She slept most of the time, but still needed checking, food and comfort. Then, I answered the home phone, instead of letting the answering machine grab it. A mom looking for help with the Lacrosse car wash this weekend. And finally, my oldest signed himself out of school and arrived home with a big project.

And what time does that leave for the things on my list? None, if I allow that to happen. But I can't. I've made a commitment to my business, to me and my team. If you're looking for a job or starting a business, this is vitally important. No matter what comes up, you need to remember that if you don't manage through the interruptions and still accomplish your tasks for today, you'll feel more stressed and less available tomorrow. And that ruins your weekend.

For me, my kids and for everyone else, I need to find a way to get it all done. Here's how:

1. Don't lose steam. Even if you need to take an hour out to comfort, to help, to run an errand, to go to an unexpected meeting, to whatever, get back on track as soon as you can.

2. If you're frustrated, let it out. Go for a walk. Express your frustration. Simply tell your kids, your spouse, your friend, your coworker that you're on a deadline so you need to make this meeting, appointment, errand, call, whatever, quick. To the point. It's ok to tell others you're rushed.

3. Practice saying this little word: NO. I'm not good at it yet, and you probably aren't either. Let's work on it, shall we?

4. Remember each day is a journey, just as your career and life are a journey. There is no straight path. Look at it as a continuum. Perhaps during this interruption, something you are learning, listening to or helping with holds a kernel of truth you can apply when you're back tackling your job at hand.

5. Just do it. Really. Now that you've paused to read this tip, you are fired up to get back at the task at hand. No more excuses.

I feel better. Hope you do, too. According to many surveys across numerous fields, we all want to feel joy and a sense of purpose about the work we do, the career we pursue. Have you found that? You deserve it. In this time of uncertainty, make a plan for yourself. Remember, it's about defining yourself in one word, and then defining your passions—your hobbies, interests, loves. Within those things, you'll find the answers, and you can begin to pursue them. The answers to fulfillment are within you. And—if the task you're putting off is one that is crucial to your new passion path, you really have no excuse! See #5.

Have a great weekend! Follow me on Twitter, and I'd love to be a friend on Facebook!

Get your Daily Dose of Laughter

As a mother of four and full-time business woman, I understand the pressures moms face. Unfortunately, many women have accepted that stress has become part of their daily lives and are finding it harder and harder to relax.

Prolonged and increased levels of stress not only affect our home lives, they also affect our health. Our bodies are well adapted to dealing with short-term stress, but prolonged stress can cause serious health problems. Your stress levels can affect your nervous, respiratory, reproductive and immune systems.

To help reduce your stress and make life more enjoyable for everyone in your home, I recommend laughter. We all can benefit from a healthy daily dose. Research shows that laughter reduces the level of stress hormones, stimulates the immune system and helps you connect with others. What a perk!

Best of all, if you have kids, they should keep you laughing on a daily basis. Kids are masters at this, as they haven’t yet been infected with adulthood. My advice is to loosen up, try to lighten your daily load by enlisting the help of your husband, kids and others. No one—not even you—can do it alone.

So to help start you on your way, here is a video clip that always makes me laugh.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5P6UU6m3cqk&hl=en&fs=1]

A mother’s work is never done. Just remember to slow down.

With endless days filled with meetings, luncheons, doctor’s appointments and kids’ activities,it’s hard to cram everything I do into a 24-hour period. It is no wonder working moms feel overwhelmed.

Mothers across the country are reaching out and starting support groups and communities. On an episode of Oprah, An Overwhelmed Mom’s Deadly Mistake, a grieving mother, Brenda Slaby, spoke about her unfortunate accident that she described as her “wake-up call to slow down”. In trying to be everything to everybody, she lost her daughter. Slaby chose to speak out about the tragic event because she wants to share her knowledge with others. She doesn’t want other moms to live through the same tragedy. To hear more about her story, go to Oprah.com.

So in order to slow down, don’t go it alone—and ask for help. While it’s easier said than done, if you’re trying to do it all—without the help of your spouse, kids, friends and co-workers—you won’t survive. Women are notorious for trying to do it all. But life moves at an accelerated pace, and frankly, it’s impossible to do it all alone. Asking for help is a sign of strength and confidence.

So, the next time you’re trying to balance life and work, stop, take a breath and ask for some help. Those who support and understand your dreams and passions will be there to assist you. Working moms are amazing women!

And in the words of Slaby, “the house doesn’t matter, the perfect dinner doesn’t matter—the kids matter.”

Make time for yourself, because your future starts now.

Wow! This may be a tough one for those of you with kids. And even if you don’t have a family, it’s a challenge in today’s world to get away for a while. But taking a break is necessary for your well being. So, if you can, head to the hills, the ocean—or even a hotel for a night or a weekend. This guilt-free time alone is essential, and what better time to plan your getaway than during the dog days of summer. Do it now—before school starts and before the holiday rush kicks in. This will give you some time to think, plan and dream. Chances are good that you’ll return recharged and ready to take on the world.

Women everywhere, and in all stages of life, are planning time for themselves. For some, it’s as simple as the solitude they experience while driving alone in the car. Others report that a long bike ride in the country is the best antidote. And some listen to music alone, take long walks in the woods, participate in a retreat, vacation alone—maybe even escape to a hotel on the other side of town. It doesn’t matter how you choose to make time for yourself. Whatever you do, you’ll quickly discover that spending time alone can be empowering. The key is not to delay. Plan your time today.

Don’t waste another minute. Plan your personal getaway time during the slower days of summer. When you return—refreshed and rejuvenated—get more inspiration from the new Real You Web site to be launched later this summer.

The waiting game . . .

In the last post I wrote about what it's like to write a book. It was an amazing process. For more, check that post.

What stage am I in now? The big waiting stage. Since submitting my final galley proofs to Wiley, my publisher, I'm pretty much on hold until Real You Incorporated http://realyouincorporated.com/ is out in mid-February. My publisher is busy, though. They are doing all of the work of producing the book, and told me it should ship from the warehouse in New Jersey on January 25th. From there, booksellers who have ordered copies of the book should find it arriving in their stores. Online retailers - amazon.com, borders.com, bn.com, and booksamillion.com, could receive copies sooner.

Hopefully, your favorite online and/or real world bookstore will have the book available February 15th. It's also being distributed to Canada, the UK and Singapore, which I find very exciting. The power of women entrepreneurs is growing all around the world.

So this part of the process is similar to waiting for Christmas morning - just ask one of my kids. They'll tell you: the waiting is the hardest part! But hopefully, for them, and for me, and ultimately for you, it's worth it!

Merry Christmas!