Real You: Authors, writing and the power of community!

The writing life can be very lonely. Especially for a first-time novelist who is naviagating a new industry of bookstores, bloggers, online sites, events all the while trying to pursue a dream. The dream? Quite simply: having a book in the hands (or on the screen) of a reader who it's perfect for. The reader who will love the story, be swept up by it, smile/laugh/cry/cheer. That's the ultimate goal and the biggest thrill. There are a lot of steps between my words and those hands. Along the way, I've met an astounding number of supportive authors. From the women who grace the cover of HERE, HOME, HOPE, to the many writers I've been blessed to have blog about the book and me, to the other writers who are friends in social media. It truly has been the unforseen blessing of the entire process.

And now, I'm so excited to be part of an amazing author event featuring 36 authors who have come together to support the launch of Melissa Foster's COME BACK TO ME. For three days, all of us have agreed to drop the prices of our eBooks to 99 cents! Fun, right? So, here is your opportunity to meet some of my wonderful author friends, try out some books from authors you may not have discovered yet and smile at the notion of the power of community. Head to the Women's Literary Cafe for the full details: http://womensliterarycafe.com. Enjoy!

Real You: 10 Tips for Networking - you can do this!

Here's the thing. We all know we need to network - no matter what we do. As a mom, I network to find good tutors, good doctors, good electricians. Everything. As an author, I network to find out about good agents, good publishers, and to discover new methods of reaching readers.

So given we all need to network, and according to studies, we as women are more reluctant to do so in a business setting, I offer you my 10 tips for networking success. I hope you enjoy them and will take them to heart. You can do this - you're a natural!

1.Know the Real You - who you are, what you do , who you do it for and why you do it.

2. Join organizations that have meaning to you.

3. Remember to give as much as you take.

4. Know your manners, online and off!

5. Reach out to one person each week who can help make your dreams come true; use creative currency to repay the favor.

6. Be candid, vulnerable, authentic. We can all spot a fake.

7. Blend work and personal. Period.

8. Maximize each social media platform by going deeper. Multiple connections make relationships more real.

9. Build a community. Be a leader. Be infectious.

10. Beware of snarks.

Real You: Lessons learned from a really bad cold

1. Instead of being in denial, go to doctor right away.2. Juice bar "get well" shot with cayenne pepper and the like hurts going down, so must be doing good? 3. When cough medicine bottle says 2 tsp - that is teaspoons not tablespoons. Oops. 4. Whatever you are writing after 2 tbsp of cough medicine seems better than it really is once medicine-fog clears. 5. It's great to have understanding dogs. They are bored, in need of a walk, but yet, still stick by me. 6. Remember, good health is a blessing. Repeat daily. 7. People do not want to talk on the telephone to someone who cannot speak without coughing. Those of us who cannot speak without coughing should stay off the telephone. 8. I would rather be sick when it's raining. 9. Thank goodness for antibiotics. 10. When a cold forces you to slow down, it's a sign. To count your blessings. To reflect. To reconnect. Sometimes, a cold is a gift, eh?

Real You: Time to shine your own light?

Sometimes, in the flurry of life, and especially in the business of books (yes, it is mostly a business, I'm afraid), the light, the vision, the creative spirit can be dimmed. Certainly, even extinguished for those bleak periods of time most commonly called "writer's block". For me - and a lot of folks I know - this writing life, full of rejections, and almosts, can be dimming. Trust me, I know of many other businesses where folks are having the light squeezed out of them, too. So what to do? Giving up is not a choice, certainly not when your livelihood and your dreams are dependent upon success.

It's time to shine your own light, whatever that means for you. Grab a cup of coffee with a friend who is one step ahead of you and find inspiration. Pick up the telephone and ask for help and advice. (I did this yesterday, and boy did it feel good! My light, once dimming, is back to almost full strength.) Whatever you do, don't give up. If you have something to say, a product to create, a world to change, then you owe it to yourself to re-energize. Read. Exercise. Laugh.

Do whatever it takes to start glowing again, and whatever you do, don't give up.

"Let me listen to me and not to them." ~ Gertrude Stein

Real You: Thank you!

Because of the amazing support of friends - new and old; online and off - Here, Home, Hope is in its second printing! To each of you who've read my novel - or my short story A Mother's Day - a sincere, heartfelt thank you for your support. You are making my dreams come true. I hope I've given you some entertainment and inspiration in exchange!       Somedays, in this writing life, it gets to be a bit lonely. And then, I'll post something on my Facebook fan page, and several of you will respond. Yippee!! I'm not alone! Thanks for being there. (Oh, and if you aren't following me there, feel free to hop on over to Kaira Rouda Books.) You may not realize it, but it means the world to me that you are there.

Real You: Expecting the unexpected

     One of the lessons I've learned during the three-plus months I've spent promoting HERE, HOME, HOPE is that you can never predict book events. Sometimes there is a great crowd, other times, it's crickets. Just me, a stack of my books and my trusty signing pen. Those events tend to feel the longest, but looking back, I may have made the best connections. I know I had the most laughs. And ultimately, I hope I've made friends for life. The smaller the crowd, the deeper the potential for connection. Yes, this is the bright side speaking but it's true.      As I wrote in Real You Incorporated, you always learn more from the hurdles, once you jump them. In Louisville, at the Anchorage Barnes & Noble, my signing was at 5:30 p.m. When I arrived, posters adorned the doors and walls promoting an event that night, but not mine. It was for the author who was arriving at 7:30. I was the warm-up act, I suppose, but that's alright - at least I had my foot in the door! In East Sandwich, MA,  where I had a designated "drop in" (a meet and greet to beg for the store to consider carrying the book) the store owner stood above me on the stairs and - in front of several customers - said no, she wouldn't consider carrying my book. I was exhausted, and it was the final stop of the tour so I was glad I didn't burst into tears in front of her as I scurried out the door! I'd survived the snark attack.   

     Oh, and speaking of attacks and expecting the unexpected in life, I did enjoy some beach time in Nantucket during the tour. As we set up our umbrella and chairs, pulled out our books, I smiled and scanned the horizon. Next thing I know, close to the beach, a fin appeared. This fin was big, and it was darting - almost as if a person was swimming underwater pretending to be a shark. But this wasn't pretend. As the shark leaped out of the water and attacked the seal it was stalking, we watched speechless. The life guards cleared the water, and at first, told us it was a dolphin.

     I'm a big fan of Shark Week. I know my sharks and this was no dolphin. 

     When the head lifeguard arrived, he told us they thought it was a sand shark. I'm not sure, but that night, during Shark Week, the show was about the resurgence of Great Whites near Chatham, in Cape Cod, due to the repopulation of seals - their favorite food.  We saw a lot of seals in the waters around Nantucket, just saying.  

     The point? Book tours are a reflection of life. There are the highs - so many great experiences, fun interactions with readers and book store staff - and some lows, complete with snarks, too. But probably the best part of being on a book tour is having the opportunity to talk about my love of reading and writing with others who share that same passion.

     This summer has been an amazing gift - one that I'll remember forever. More on the unusual next post!

Real You: Chronicles of the travelling Wedding Plant

An added benefit of my recent almost two-week long Here, Home, Hope Book Tour was a stop back "home", in Columbus, Ohio. During a book signing at Loot, a great shop in happening Short North retail and cultural district, I was reunited with my Wedding Plant. One of my best friends, Kathy, had been watching over my precious spider plant for the two years since we'd moved to California. As she wiped a tear and handed over the 22-year-old spider plant, which was flourishing under her care, she said, "It's the last piece of you I have here. I'm really attached to her." (Kathy is on the right with my other friend Molly.)

It's easy to grow attached the The Wedding Plant, as countless folks have during the book tour. Here is its story: The wedding plant originated as a tiny spider plant that was part of my green and white wedding bouquet 21 years ago. My mother, an avid gardener with a bright green thumb, plucked the unsuspecting spider from my bouquet just before I tossed it per custom to all the single ladies.

Mom returned home that night, planted the little spider, and helped it grow for the next five years. I had no idea she'd even thought to do this. On our 5th Wedding Anniversary, she presented the plant to my husband and I.

Through the ensuing years - including four babies, two cats, three dogs, many jobs, snowstorms, two different houses, two birds, and all that life will throw your way - the wedding plant has flourished. Sure, some years it looked a little pale. Other years, it had offshoots galore, growing and thriving with gusto.

But most importantly, it survived. And with its survival, it became more than just a plant, it has become symbolic of the struggles and joys of a long-term relationship, of the need for its care and feeding, of the need to nurture and cherish it.

And that's why everywhere I went during this leg of the Here, Home, Hope Book Tour - from Columbus, to Cincinnati, to Louisville, to Nashville and Memphis, to Eureka Springs and Oklahoma City and Albuquerque - the Wedding Plant came with me. Literally, creating a whole new set of rules for travelling in the summer with the Wedding Plant.

Did you know it's hot out there? When travelling with a wedding plant it's essential to gas up only at stations with shade. For a lunch break lasting longer than 10 minutes, the wedding plant must come inside. When stacking the luggage cart for the night's stop, it is critical the wedding plant is nestled securely amongst the luggage. And during the drive, the wedding plant needs light and air and a protected spot in the back seat.

Seriously, it was almost as intense as travelling with an infant. (Almost.) In Nashville, the Wedding Plant enjoyed a view of the Parthenon, while in Eureka Springs she had her own coffee table. During a stop in Memphis my husband had a lunch meeting, so the Wedding Plant had to come inside Boscos, too. The friendly hostess took care of it while we ate. When temperatures rose to 109 degrees outside, but we wanted to see the Oklahoma City National Memorial, we took turns at the site so someone could stay inside the car, air conditioning running, with the Wedding Plant.

The plant may have saved us from a speeding ticket outside of Tulsa, as the Sheriff enjoyed the story and let us off with a warning. She survived the ghosts of The Crescent Hotel and the blistering heat of the Painted Desert truck stop. Most of all, she is now where she belongs. At home, and hopefully happily growing and thriving for another 25 years.

Real You: My daughter, myself

My first post for The Huffington Post appeared on the same day as my only daughter's high school graduation. Odd. Wonderful. That's life. Here's an excerpt: "Thirty years ago, this month, I graduated high school. Tomorrow, my only daughter will celebrate her high school commencement. It's a tough time for me, this letting go. Some days, I've been downright mopey." The full post here.

Bottom line. It's another one of those transition times. It's not a crisis, although I will be crying. It's a change. A shift. A celebration, for both my daughter, and myself. Just like in my novel HERE, HOME, HOPE, these life events are a perfect opportunity to take a look at life, and the people you hold dear. To make sure you're putting the real you in everything you do.

Real You: A post about Huffington Post

     I don't know about you, but when I have the opportunity to meet someone who is a mentor-from-afar (aka hero) and she turns out to be in person even more wonderful than you imagined, it's powerful. I had that opportunity yesterday when I listened to Arianna Huffington tell her story. She made an appearance at a brown bag luncheon to benefit the Venice Family Clinic. To get things started, an amazing woman came forward and told her story about how the clinic had been there for her family when they lost everything due to a child's illness. Her story brought the crowd to tears, including Huffington who onsite announced to the crowd she'd decided to feature the woman's story of reinvention on a new section of the HuffPost called Breakover.      That was cool. Spontaneous. Creative. Loving. After making that announcement, Huffington - who was introduced by her sister/best friend, Agapi - wowed the crowd with her newfound mission to get folks sleeping more. After collapsing at her desk from exhaustion, she has become a sleep advocate and she's taking time to inspire others to do the same. She's created NapQuest rooms at her new AOL offices (named after the company's Mapquest) for her editorial team. She's accustomed to using her wisdom and life experiences to help change the world.

     Huffington spent the majority of her talk reflecting on the positive consequences of rejection (she moved to New York because of a break-up with a man in London), the power inherent in giving back, the creativity explosion happening at this moment due to the connection and engagement the internet provides and using her own life as an example of how anything is possible if you keep the spirit of life in your heart.

     Can you tell I left the luncheon inspired? I'm still smiling. Use your gifts, she told us. Because Huffington is an eloquent writer and believer in the power of women entrepreneurs, because she tells her story - the good and the bad - from the heart as a way to inspire others, she is one of my heroes.

     "Use your gifts," she told us. Oh, and, "Don't sleep with a device next to your bed. A good old fashioned alarm clock is much healthier."

Real You: Happy Memorial Day

     During book tour leg two, I had an amazing opportunity while stuck on the tarmac in Chicago. Behind me sat Korean War Congressional Medal of Honor winner Ron Rosser. He is a true American hero. Read his story. The impact he has had on history is immeasurable. It was an honor to sit near him.       With continued thanks to all of those who risked - and risk - their lives for us on this Memorial Day.

Real You: Let's talk Turkey

I'm just about two weeks into my whirlwind Book Tour for HERE, HOME, HOPE so I thought it would be a great time to blog about the exciting adventures on the road.

So far, stops have included: Malibu, West Hollywood, Capitola, Piedmont, Sacramento - and tonight, San Francisco.

Here's what I've learned so far: 1. You can never guage how many people will show up at a book tour stop, nor can you tell if those who show up will buy the book. BUT, you will meet fun, new friends. 2. Turkeys are wild in Sacramento. Yes, in the neighborhoods, gobbling and the like. And they're huge. And they scare me. 3. Bill The Oyster Man from Santa Cruz has a huge heart and more stories about oyster and catfish farming than anyone on the planet. True. 4. It doesn't matter how many announcements the community relations person at the bookstore makes over the loud speaker just before your booksigning, only people there to see you will come over. The rest of the shoppers will glare at you. 5. The Santa Monica Barnes & Noble is huge, with a very large, very important looking author presentation room. (scary!) 6. The Summer Kitchen Bake Shop in Berkley is considering placing HERE, HOME, HOPE on display next to Kelly Corrigan's LIFT. I believe it's meant to be as I need a reason to go there and eat some more amazing food. 7. If you serve wine at a book signing party, the questions get much more interesting. 8. Bookstores and book people rock. It's a great community. 9. While on a book tour, I feel compelled to explain my 2 star review on Amazon.com, even though it is my only one. It is haunting me, clearly. My publicist tells me to stop it, but I cannot. 10. The hours before a book signing provide many angst-ridden moments; the hours after, fond memories for a lifetime.

Thank you to everyone I've met along the way so far. A special thank you to: Room at the Beach, Chevalier's Books, Barnes & Noble Santa Monica, Capitola Book Cafe, Barnes & Noble, Arden Fair in Sacramento and Book Passage, Ferry Building San Francisco. Next week, the HERE, HOME, HOPE book tour heads to Dayton and Columbus, Ohio, where I'll bring you more highlights from the road. And if I'm in your neighborhood, please come on by and let's talk about books!

Real You: Heading to Hollywood Tonight

Really, I am. Tonight I'm doing a signing and reading of HERE, HOME, HOPE in Larchmont Village - very close to Hollywood.

Which got me thinking about the town where dreams are made...which then got me thinking about dreams coming true. All those years ago, when I dreamed of seeing a novel of mine on a bookstore shelf, I never dreamed that I'd be in Hollywood for a book signing! I know, I'm showing my Midwestern sensibilities here, but pinch me, please!

So if you cannot make it to Chevalier's Books tonight, imagine me, with a huge grin, soaking it all in. These are those moments when I thank God for all my blessings. And I thank you for supporting me.

And if your dreams still haven't yet come true, don't give up. Your pinchable moment is on the horizon. Keep believing!

Real You: A Mother's Day

     This week has been a whirlwind of activity. It was the week of the launch of my dream, my first novel, HERE, HOME, HOPE. The best part of the week has been the support of friends like you, online and off, who have talked, blogged, purchased, attended readings and supported me. Amazing. I'm still pinching myself.      But that's not all. My editor asked a while back if I had written a short story ~ and I had one, but I hadn't shared it. The story is about the different stages of motherhood - told from the point of view of three mothers who each experience the same, life-altering event. It's the story of their reactions, and by reflection, the love each of them has for her son.

     That love, the love of a mother and a son, is at the heart of the A MOTHER'S DAY. And it's at the heart of my life. I have three sons, each as unique, perfect and special as he could be. They are amazing. And as I watch them grow into young men, I marvel. (I also have a daughter I adore, but that's for another story, another post.)

     I hope if you are a mother that you have the most amazing Mother's Day ever. And, if you're looking for a quick read on your new Kindle, I'd love if if you'd consider A MOTHER'S DAY.

Real You: Celebration

As I watch the news tonight of Osama Bin Laden's demise, I'm struck by the power of this historic moment. It's almost if tonight we won a war. It's been such a long time since we've all come together to celebrate. As Americans. United. It's awe inspiring, watching it all unfold.

I'm proud of our country, of our guts and perserverance. Of the bravery of our armed forces, and the heroes of 9/11.

It seems so trivial, at this moment, to be celebrating my debut novel's launch. But I am. It's a warm and special feeling and now that feeling is joining in the spirit of positive thoughts and emotions filling our country tonight.

USA. USA.

Real You: Resilience

     The most important aspect of the writing life, to me, is resilience. You know it, if you’re a writer. Resilience isn’t a trait that is taught, it’s learned. It’s the inner drive that allows us to bounce back, to recover from adversity – whether it’s our first rejection or our latest. Because we know as writers that to do this thing, this craft and this job we love, we must be buoyant. We must keep hope floating, even in the face of all the facts.  And the facts are daunting. The journey from a completed manuscript to actually holding a published book in your hands can be a long and frustrating one. We’ve all heard of the overnight success stories. But that’s why we’ve all heard of them. For most of us, it will be a journey of perseverance, of heartache and ultimately, with enough resilience, success.

My story isn’t unique. I’ve dreamed of writing a novel since I can remember articulating a career. When our teacher in 3^rd grade told the class to write to a person who has the job you would like to have someday, I wrote to Robert McCloskey of Make Wake for Ducklings and Blueberries for Sal fame. I explained how much I wanted to be a writer, like him, and how much I enjoyed his stories. He wrote back and told me, thanks, but he was an illustrator. Undaunted, I kept the dream alive.

Fast-forward to my life today. I’m a mom of four teens who just became a consultant for the real estate company I co-founded with my husband. For the first time, ever, I had a moment to stop and reflect on what I’d dreamed of since so long ago. Sure, I’d tried to pursue my writing dreams along the way. I’d even been honored with two different agents through the years, but somehow nothing clicked.  We’d get close, those agents and I, to the big acceptance, the “yes” from New York. But ultimately, a no would come my way and I’d put my hopes and my manuscripts back in the drawer. But I didn’t give up.

Was it because I didn’t have confidence to pursue this career of a novelist with single-minded focus? Perhaps, but most of us don’t have the luxury of simply writing full time. Was it because my writing wasn’t ready, my craft was still developing? I don’t think you ever stop growing, so I could have used that excuse to give up. I don’t have the answers to those questions. But I do know I continued to write. I continued to take online masters classes and attend writers’ conferences when I could. I remained convinced this was my calling, that someday a novel of mine would be published.

Don’t get me wrong. I had a great career as a journalist and later in marketing and finally, ironically, in what has become the most resilient of all industries, real estate. If you want a non-literary example of survivors, of buoyancy, sit down and talk to your favorite real estate agent who is still working in today’s market.  I found the inspiration for my first book by working with these amazing entrepreneurs.  In what is to me truly ironic, I pitched the nonfiction proposal for REAL YOU INCORPORATED: 8 Essentials for Women Entrepreneurs (Wiley|08) to a single literary agent and just one publisher, both of whom responded the next day with a yes.

That type of overnight yes didn’t happen for my novel, obviously.

Available May 1, 2011 

So when the yes did come last year, when the dream began to become reality, you better believe it was that much more exciting. This is the dream. This is what I’ve been bouncing back in hopes of. The advance reader copies of HERE, HOME, HOPE arrived on my doorstep in a brown cardboard box just before Christmas. My hands were shaking as I cut open the package and reached inside. As I picked up the ARC, I held the realization of a lifetime of dreams, of work, of springing back. Was it worth it, continuing to ignore the facts, the odds stacked against me? Of course. Now it is. But when I look back at the very long and exhausting road that most of us must take from our dreams of writing a novel to the reality of holding a published book in our hands, I know resilience is the reason I made it through.

 And, just as I know that this character trait is what worked for me, what allowed me to finally be able to say that I am now a published novelist, the ability to spring back can and will work for you, too. No matter your field, but especially in this one. Resilience is learned by those who make it: you don’t need it if you give up. So keep bouncing.

This column appeared the The Sacramento Book Review, a great place for book lovers.

Real You: That's what friends are for!

So, here I am, on the campaign trail so to speak. Promoting an about to be released debut novel feels like a long solo trek sometimes but just when I begin to think all is lost and lonely, something fabulous comes along! In this particular case, in the form of a profile on the blog of the amazing Beth Hoffman, author of the equally amazing novel Saving CeeCee Honeycutt. To be a guest on a New York Times Bestselling novelists blog is - well - a dream come true. I'm still pinching myself! Here's the link.

And yes, Beth is as nice and real as she seems. Amazing.

Goodreads HERE, HOME, HOPE Giveaway ends April 30th!

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Here, Home, Hope

by Kaira Rouda

Giveaway ends April 30, 2011.

See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

Enter to win

Real You: The 5 components of reinvention

     Both of my books have been about the process of reinvention. In REAL YOU INCORPORATED, I walk women entrepreneurs through and 8-step process to put their passions into action and redefine their personal brands to create a unique business brand. Meanwhile, in HERE, HOME, HOPE, Kelly Johnson - the protagonist - is restless, not unhappy but not in touch with her passions. She devises a midlife makeover plan with the help of a Things to Change list.      Which leads me to the five common components of reinvention - whether you're changing your life, or just a piece of it. You need:

1. Resilience. Stick to it. Go for it. Overcome the hurdles.

2. Flexibility. Go with the flow. Open up to change. Do one thing everyday that scares you.

3. Creativity. Find your passions. Ignite them. Creativity is intelligence having fun.

4. Put the Real You in your life. Be self focused for a change. If you aren't happy, no one you love is happy.

5. Purpose. Have a higher calling. Give back. Lift someone else up and you lift yourself.

Here, Home, Hope ForeWord Review!

     I have to say, of all the anxiety inducing steps of the publishing process, one of the most stressful is waiting for reviews - whether it's from "anonymous" or a literary review. So it took me awhile to get the courage to read the review of HERE, HOME, HOPE from ForeWord - but when I did I was dancing!      Click on the link for the full review, but here is my favorite part: "Inspirational and engaging, Rouda will touch readers who can relate to the frustration of being sidelined on the field of life, never allowed to play and always needed behind the bleachers, until finally experiencing the joy of participation."

     Yes! Live, don't wait until tomorrow. (Also part of the review!)

Real You: Down to the wire and out to the world

     Have you ever worked on something for a decade or more? Something so important to you that your dreams, hopes and wishes are one with the project. I have. It happened as we created and built Real Living Real Estate, and it's happening again, now, as I launch my debut novel into the world.      Just like Real Living, my novel isn't for everybody. But I hope most people who pick it up and give it a read will like it. But all I can do is send it out to the world, knowing I did my best.